On abandoning Hijab.. 5

Ibraheem,

I need to express how frustrating it sometimes is, when a man like yourself analyzes women that way. I know you honored me with the word ‘Jihad’, but somewhere down the line, you still strike me as someone who has no clue about what I’m enduring. I might be wrong, for how would you know anyway, but I resolve it to be necessary for you to be informed about that light shade of ire.

As for your elaborate message, let me reply in the following concrete points:

I prefer we leave ‘fashion’, ‘beauty’ and ‘attraction’ out of our discussion. Although you have been reminded of it by them, they have no direct relation to my cause of having it in the first place. I admit your line of thought was logical, but let’s assume now that my Hijab adheres to the rules of Sharia, not because it necessarily does, but because if it didn’t, it wouldn’t make any difference to how I approach its entire concept lately. The matter extends beyond that, sorrily.

Your sentences along with a couple of posts you’ve written recently seem to indicate how bent you are on the idea of, how should I put it, changing how women live their lives nowadays, especially the religious ones. Now, besides the fact that this is difficult, and I dare say is even unrealistic, it does negatively impact my idea of religion, although you think it should do the opposite; as a sister I actually fought against the very notion you’re preaching, and I helped many Muslim women break through this enforced cocoon many men put them in, all the while keeping all Islamic practices, on top of which is Hijab. Women need society more than men, the fact that nowadays’ society is male dominated (or infected) should urge you to change men, rather than women. Instead of asking women to adhere to Sharia, you should also ask men to adhere to it too.

Because, frankly speaking, if say I was convinced of what you’re saying and I ultimately retreated into my primary role as a woman and focused on the upbringing of small human beings and the sustenance of big human beings, emotional and physical, while those human beings have not changed (or worse, think they shouldn’t), then I’m afraid the circle you are trying to close will still have a breach in its surface, and the suffering that results in my chest would be the same I’m enduring outside my home anyway, if not doubled.

Many men fall in the trap of thinking that a single party ought to start fixing society. I dare say you’re one of them. You think that certain transgressions you share with women in your relationships have different repercussions on their part when it comes to Islamic obligation. You think that in order for things to be fixed, they have to change, not you. And you know what, some women actually believe in that. They believe that they ought to change into beings that fulfill God’s intention of them, and they forget that men are as guilty at disappointing this very intention.

Let me clarify that I’m not ignorant when it comes to knowing that when the miracle happens and both parties divine that change, they will do so in very different manners, since they are different in nature at the end. My argument rather concentrates on the will to change in the first place, and the false allegation that says it’s the duty of women only, because for some unknown reason, their deviation from Sharia was acuter.

You’d be surprised to also know that not so small portion of women’s agony all around the world is deeply rooted into a solid ground covering the arrogant stagnation of men. Religiously speaking, I would even extend my view and throw a bigger part of the responsibility on your likes, since according to Islam men are held accountable for women, not the other way around. The societal and moral precondition is a responsibility that men share.

In order to summarize my point and answer your question. Hijab’s preconditions are theoretically important, yes, but as long as men do not take part in achieving them, then I’m sad to say that for them to manifest in practice a sun has to rise somewhere from the west.

yours,

T.

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2 thoughts on “On abandoning Hijab.. 5

  1. I didn’t read the rest of the series. Reading this on its own, and ignoring the part that talked about hijab. T, you make perfect sense. Change shouldn’t be only an obligation, or even a desire or a path to be taken only by women, and men shouldn’t be preaching it unless they know all the angles and they too are willing to change and be open to hear the other person first.

    About abandoning Hijab, well this is a topic that is too sensitive and hot lately. I believe it’s something we do to obey Allah, and it’s like praying, fasting, etc… an order. whether you choose doing it or not is your own opinion and your own free will granted to you by Allah, it’s one of the perks of being human. But please don’t ask everyone to not judge or like or accept that. Because simply some people can’t.

  2. T hasn’t asked anyone to accept her, in fact. She’s quite independent that way. I believe she’s also fully aware of her freewill when it comes to such a choice.

    What happened in this message is an expression of frustration on her part, with the logic of the previous message. She didn’t indicate whether this would be enough reason to give up Hijab, or whether that’s related altogether to her choice, which makes it quite difficult to make a judgment regarding her argument.

    Or maybe the matter is now irrespective of T herself, and rather about women in general. I think T’s question is: why is Hijab in Islam so related to men? Like it’s a decree that is totally around men, and how they’d be impacted once that decree is given up.

    I think that might be the problem.

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