A fight with dad..

This is usually a sign of many things. Me and dad are a very special design. We are usually so good people actually envy us, until suddenly, one darned night, it all goes downhill. Like tonight.

Dad is passive aggressive. After the likes of those altercations, he retreats into my worst nightmare. Depending on the mood and the heaviness of my sins, he might cave in there for weeks, leaving me wallow in my wordless suffering. The thing about all of that, the thing that hurts me the most, is that I know that I am good egg. I am not a bad son. He himself vouches for this, to many people, to me through his lovely prayers, and, I hope, to God. That’s my definition of breathless pain, for me to doubt whether I’m even a good human being.

This usually crushes me. I am not up to a grind now, at all. I really hope this wears away very soon. I want to do many things with my life, the least of which is handle friction with a diabetic father, and the most of which is be a good son. The man has enough to shoulder as it is, and I am trying to soldier on to my crush of lungs as it is.

Sometimes, with the people you love, you just don’t meet halfway. Both of you are often candidates for parties who should’ve known better, but it just happens. Its candidness takes a dark twist; it’s like the downside of having a home of someone. Things just happen at home, you don’t plan them, or even intend them. It wouldn’t be home, otherwise.

I never thought I’d say this again on this stupid blog, but I am depressed.

Gimme a prayer or  two, will you?

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4 thoughts on “A fight with dad..

  1. I am often at odds with my father, so perhaps I am one of those that fall in the envious category. However I do know that my own failing lies in pride, when I am so stubborn in believing myself fully justified and convinced that I am wronged, I find it hard to work towards calling him out of his cave.

    It’s not hard. A kiss on the forehead is often sufficient.

    What is hard however is bypassing your pride and remembering which is more important, pride or parental blessing.

    I am sure you are better at me than it, so good luck – go smile and kiss his forehead.

  2. I don’t know if I’m better. It’s usually very hard, indeed.

    It’s just.. I don’t know.. it’s just a very tough night.. I’ve had enough of those this year.. I really did..

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