Eleventh..

ibhog,

You know how sometimes you imagine your future with the ones you like? With me it’s different. When I really like someone, I imagine how my past would have been with them, and I find that I am jealous of all the people who got to be part of it while I was elsewhere. I see all the friendships, the laughs and the hangouts, and just be sad that I wasn’t in any of those. I feel like I’ve missed out on a lot, and this wears my patience so thin.

When they are finally in my life, I feel like a dropout. Like wrong punctuation. Like bad design. I can’t conjure up the courage to face that person with what I feel, because they will never understand anyway.

Ibrahim, I can’t stop listening to this. No idea what’s that got to do with my heartaches.

I am so tired.

N.

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