Book Review – SeinLanguage

Throw in your wisest judgments, yet you’d find the comedian more perceptive. Real comedy isn’t in telling jokes or playing with words, but in reflecting on reality from totally new dimensions; no imagination or drama, just pure facts that turn out to be really funny!

Besides being a veritable writer, Jerry Seinfeld has a complacent air to him, a comforting aura and a hilarious charisma, he prepares you to laugh out loud.

But the pressure is on you now. This book is filled with funny ideas but you have to provide the delivery. So when you read it, remember – timing, inflection, attitude. That’s comedy. I’ve done my part. The performance is up to you.

I doubt anyone’s is up to it, really. You can’t outgo such prodigy. He talks about friendship and relationships, career and health, parking and shopping, parenting and the family, and so many other things .. things that might come out as uninteresting to you, but the way he times them, says them and expresses them is all what makes the difference.

In this hectic world with its rules, we usually take things for granted. I remember Coelho’s famous philosophy when he spoke about the difference between what’s right and what’s correct; when he said that correctness is just a matter of consensus among a group of people, it’s coined as experience or knowledge. But no one questions if what we all do or are used to doing, is really right or makes sense.

Jerry smiles a lot. When you do that, you relax .. basically. This is literally being in the mood. He then sits down and writes about those funny things people take for granted, do without much thought and even pass along to children. Surprisingly, he makes so much sense! At some point, and excluding the thematic comedy, you can actually argue to his behalf.

You need this breather. You need to know that there’s no right and wrong in most cases, you need to know about perspectives, and most importantly, you’ll just have to know about the funny ones. Life isn’t really that serious, but people are. I mean, how hilarious would it be if you see someone doing something funny while taking it very seriously? That’s Seinfeld’s business. He’s got enough wits to notice those situations.

The book is a whole different thing than his famous show and stand-up performances, it’s just talent in a new flavor, because reading is a special joy in itself.

My favorite excerpts:

“There’s no easy way to break off any relationship. It’s like the mozzarella cheese on a good slice of pizza. No matter how far you pull the slice away from your mouth it just gets longer and thinner but never snaps.”

“One of the great mysteries to me is the fact that a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, rip the hair out by the roots, and still be afraid of a spider.”

“I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication. Did you ever try to get one of these out? Not easy. There’s an entire wall of products that you need. You stand there going, “Well, this one is quick acting but this is long lasting … Which is more important, the present or the future?”

“But when you want to enjoy something, you must never let logic get too much in the way.”

“I can never understand why they cook on TV. I can’t smell it. Can’t eat it. Can’t taste it. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera, “Well, here it is. You can’t have any. Thanks for watching. Goodbye.”

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with yawning. I hate when people try not to yawn. First of all, we all know you’re yawning. Teeth clenched, their cheeks start vibrating, trying to keep their mouth closed. It’s like watching someone get electrocuted.”

“Sometimes you go to a nice restaurant, they put the check in the little book. What is this, the story of the bill? “Once upon a time somebody ordered a salad.” There’s a little gold tassel hanging down. Am I graduating from the restaurant?”

You’re under a tremendous amount of pressure. You have so many issues to deal with. Decisions to make. Responsibilities. Disappointments. Hardships. Then snap! you go crazy! Well … there’s no crazy in comedy. That said, there’s no judgment. That said, you need comedy. That said, read this book!

It’s not long or lengthy. Two hundred pages that will flap in such haste you’ll feel sad they did. And I promise that you’ll wish the book had a sequel or two. Not to mention, the moment you finish it, you’ll start practicing comedy, or more specifically, the act of observing life from that window.

The window that casts a mysterious beam of light upon things, and excretes only the funny logic. Like this one:

You can measure distance by time.

“How far is your place?”

“About twenty minutes.” But it doesn’t work the other way.

“When do you get off work?”

“Around three miles.”

I imagine if I put on that stance and head for the subway in Cairo, I’ll write a whole series. So much to mock!

And it’ll be even more hilarious,